Parenting 101

Okay, I know I'm not a parent yet, but since I am going to be one soon, AND I work with kids who have TERRIBLE parents, I've been thinking about it a lot.

So I've decided that every once in a while, I will share with you what I have learned about parenting so far. Sometimes it will be lessons learned while being a mom to Elizabeth, and sometimes it will be lessons learned from seeing bad parenting while interacting with my students.


So here it goes:

Parenting lesson #476 -- When you have decided to go out of town to see a Bon Jovi concert, make sure that you are back in time to TAKE YOUR KID TO SCHOOL! (And if you're not, don't make him lie to the principal and say that he was "sick," especially when the other kids have already told her that he wasn't.)


Gotta love it!

More to come!

So...I got in trouble

...for the last post. In case you didn't get it (which unless you know Perl, you probably didn't), it's a speech from Hamlet written in Perl. Yeah, I'm a nerd, and I certainly had nothing better to do on this fine Sunday afternoon.

In truth, the previous post was Jen's fault. Rather than tell me to post more, she commented on my first (and only post at the time) entry telling me I should post more. Hehe...oh well.

use Shakespeare::Hamlet

$question = qr/ ( b | [^b] ) {2} /;
switch( $mind =~ /nobler/ ) {
____case 0:
________foreach ($fortune->{OUTRAGEOUS}{SLINGS}) {
____________suffer($_); }
________foreach ($fortune->{OUTRAGEOUS}{ARROWS}) {
____________suffer($_); }
____case 1:
________if( split( $arms, $troubles->{C} ) ) {
____________undef( $troubles->{C} ); }
}

my $die = sub {
____undef $sleep;
____die(); }
my $sleep = sub {
____heart_ach->DESTROY {};
____shocks->DESTROY {};

____return rand();
}
________

__begin__

package heart_ache;
____sub new {}
____sub DESTROY {}

package shocks;
____my $natural;
____sub new {
________for( my $i = 0; $i < 1000; $i++ ) {
____________push( @{$natural}, $i ); } }
____sub DESTROY {}
________
package flesh;
____@ISA = qw( heart_ache shocks );
____sub new {}

__end__

if( eof() ) {
____if( rand() <>new(); } }

my $dream____
my $death = &$die();
my $perchance = &$sleep();
if( $perchance >= 0.50 ) { $dream = 1; }
else { $dream = 0; }

my $coil = ( MORTAL => flesh->new() );

$rub = grep { $death && shift( @{$coil} ) } $dream;
if($rub) { CORE::sleep(5); }

sub respect {
________$calamity = Life->long(); }
________
package life;
____sub long {
________bear_time();
________opressors();
________man();
________love();
________law();
________office();
________merit();
________return 1;
____}
____sub short {
________$bodkin = {};
________$quietus = $bodkin; }
____
____
____sub bear_time {
________foreach ($time->{SCORNS}) {
____________print "$_\n"; }
________foreach ($time->{WHIPS}) {
____________print "$_\n"; } }
________
____#sub oppressors { cout << "Hello World!"; }
____sub man { man(); }
____sub love {
________if(int(rand(2))) { return 0; }
________else { return 1; } }
____sub law {
________while( rand() < 0.90 ) {
____________CORE::sleep(2000); } }
____sub office {
________@args = ("shc","-f hamlet.pl";
________system(@args) == 0 or die(); }
____sub merit {
________while( 1 ) { sleep(2); } }

__end__

if( !($life =~ /death$/) ) {
____respect(); }
else( !($life =~ /death$/) ) {
____respect(); }
else { Life->short(); }
____
sub conscience {
____foreach $person ( @all ) {
________$person = $coward; }
____return $true; }
________
eval { concience(); }
if( !@_ ) {
____pack $thought, $resolution->{HUE};
____delete( $action->{NAME} ); }

Joshua

Tonight Stephen and I were at Kohl's buying some new shoes, and when we were standing in line, we met a little boy, Joshua, and his mother. He was probably no more than 3 or 4 years old, but very friendly and out-going.

He noticed a stuffed animal that I had picked up to buy for Elizabeth (yep, we're already spoiling her), and he was instantly my new best friend. He walked right up to me and wanted to shake the little toy's, and he looked up at me and ask me where I found it.

His mother noticed that we were talking and came over to apologize, to which Stephen and I only smiled and said it wasn't a problem. She noticed that I am pregnant, and she said to Joshua, "She's got a baby," while pointing to my stomach. I snickered and added, "yea, but she's hiding inside."

Well, Joshua wanted to meet Elizabeth, so he automatically grabbed my shirt and lifted it up to find her! He's a very logical, if not literal, little boy. His mother was mortified, but Stephen and I had one of the biggest laughs we'd had all week.

Now that I've thought about it more, Joshua didn't just make me laugh; he made me even more excited about being a mom. I mean, I know that when Elizabeth is small and saying embarrassing things to strangers in stores, I'll be just as mortified as Joshua's mom was tonight, but think about it; I'll be in a store with my OWN CHILD!

I can't wait!

Today was a great day!

So cool!

Ok, so I just feel like I have to share this because it excited me so much! Elizabeth started kicking last night, and for the first time, I could SEE my tummy move! CRAZY! I'm way pumped!

In other "cool" news, I'm blogging from school today because, although I'm here, my students are on a field trip with their science teacher, so I kind of have a day off. It's GREAT!

Oh, and, those of you reading this who are The Office fans, HOW AWESOME WAS IT?!!! Stephen and I are so glad it's back!

Hope everyone's day is wonderful!

p.s. I've become obssessed with milk and donuts. I'm so obssessed that the little guy who works at the Shipley's I go to, automatically rang me up for milk at the cash register today. Woah.

Being Pregnant and Being Me

I've heard that a lot of women get emotional when they're pregnant. They cry a lot and get offended at just about anything. That hasn't been me. In fact, although I'm grateful for it, I have also felt like I'm not being a normal pregnant lady. I keep thinking that I'll have a break-down any day now, but the truth is that I'm just kind of mellowed out. I'm not complaining; I'm just nervous that one day I'll explode! Oh well, for now I'm content.

As for work; I'm tired of being tired on the job. Thankfully, everyone understands that it's hard being pregnant, but I just run out of energy so fast nowadays. It's hard to get anything done anymore. I'm just relieved that my job is not as taxing as last year, or I wouldn't be able to handle it.

No more complaining, though, because Elizabeth is constantly reminding me that she's coming soon! I feel her move so much, now, and it just feels.....worth it! :)

More later!

Haha!

Sup. So she said I couldn't do it. It would just be easier not to have to worry about it.

Here I am. Posting on our blog with my account. =) hehe.

Just kidding. I had nothing else to write. Shouldn't be surprising if you've read any of my other blogs. squeezeoflime.blogspot.com hasn't been updated in almost two years, lol, and my new one that I was determined to keep to date hasn't been updated since the first couple of posts.

Well, shucks. Good thing I married an English teacher. I'll just have her kids update it as a homework assignment.